Wandering

I find myself idling a little lately, and it's not because of a lack of things to do. If I were my own therapist, which I usually am, my diagnosis is that I'm failing to keep myself properly occupied.

The whole problem with having idle time is that my mind starts to wander. I'm somewhat incapable of just shutting down and stoning... I bet most of you are very much the same.

Don't get me wrong, I know some of the most brilliant thoughts ever, sprout when we idle (some people call it meditation, I call it idling). However, when I'm left idling, the thoughts which pop into my head tend to lack positivity these days. That tends to result in a sudden mood swing which leaves me feeling depressed and lacking energy and motivation after.

Chocolates help, for a while. Sex helps, for a while. Working out helps too, for a while. So far I haven't found any lasting remedies to the repeated state of depression. However, I believe if I improve on my routine, I can prevent myself from even going there. As they say - prevention is better than cure.

There are 3 states I tend to find myself in:-

1. Productively occupied
2. Unoccupied
3. Unproductively occupied

While number 2 is bad, I think number 3 is the worst - "No future"! Especially when we're in denial and keep trying to convince ourselves that what we're doing is entirely necessary. Such a sad and sorry state. I'm only judging myself here - do not take offense.

Right now, I just have to focus on handing myself productive tasks, and then completing them one by one to the best of my ability. The rest should fall in place.